BinLeenk: His Humor Writings (Et Al.)

The Lime Water

I was alone in a cafe. A waitress approached. She handed me a glass of lemon water. It tasted more like lime water.

But I’m way ahead of myself, let me rewind a bit.

A few hours ago, my good buddy Charlie told me to meet him at a cafe. I arrived early, so I found an empty seat outside on the patio. It didn’t take long before a waitress approached and asked if I wanted some lemon water. I said yes, and she poured me a glass. Then I tasted it. It tasted like lime water to me.

Hold on a second. I don’t think I went back far enough. Let’s try this again.

This morning Charlie, my friend, told me he needed to see me about something important. I had known Charlie most my life, and we often got together at the same restaurant on Third Street to discuss private matters. However, this time Charlie told me to meet him at this new cafe he discovered over Main. I agreed, and that’s where I was when I got the lemon water that tasted like lime water.

That really wasn’t any further, was it? OK: round three.

Last night I fell asleep, woke up and received a phone call from Charlie. My friend told me we needed to chat, so we decided to meet at this place that serves lemon water that actually tastes more like lime water.

Hmm. It appears backwards isn’t the direction to go with this story. Let’s try forwards to see if we can get past this little lemon water/lime water episode.

Charlie arrived at the cafe shortly after I had. He seemed stressed. I knew he had taken a major gamble with a business deal. Judging by his face, it didn’t look like it had gone well. I told him a story to break the tension. I pointed at the waitress and explained how she asked me if I wanted lemon water but gave me lime water instead.

My apologies. I don’t know why I’m so hung up on this lime water thing. There is truly a fascinating story to be told, but I know lime water when I taste it. I can be fooled with some things, but there is a very distinct difference between what a lemon tastes like and that of a lime. Maybe the waitress picked up the wrong pitcher of water? Well if that’s true, then her haphazard approach to her job won’t earn her many tips. For all I know it could have been a practical joke, and I was the target. That’s not fair to me. I don’t want to be an innocent bystander in her nefarious plot. I’m a customer of the cafe and deserve the respect to receive exactly what I was offered. I agreed to the lemon water deal. I think everyone can agree to that. I actually enjoy lemon water quite a lot. With just a sprinkling of sugar, it makes for a very refreshing drink. This doesn’t mean I dislike lime water. I find it equally as good, just in different ways. The fact of the matter is I was given something I did not expect to receive, which would cause any reasonable person to become disturbed. It may just be lemons and limes to you, but, to me, a sacred trust bond was shattered that morning.

Great. Now I’m so irate I forgot what I was talking about.

16 December 2011 ·