BinLeenk: His Humor Writings

Mad Libs: Serious Edition

I had been trying for months to get a table at ___(Name of Family Pet)___, the new restaurant downtown. Tonight, I only needed a table for one, because my wife, Margarette, had ___(Verb)___ me. She was a ___(Object in Room)___.

Luckily, my secretary called. She was able to get me a seat near ___(Strange Place)___. “It’s the least I could do for you,” she said. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be on that ___(Extreme Sport)___ trip on ___(Unusual Vacation Destination)___ with your wife right now instead of doing ___(Poor People Activity)___ by yourself.”

I hung up my phone and sipped from the ___(Fruity Beverage)___ I found next to a sleeping homeless man. It couldn’t take the pain away, and my the flavors tasted like a ___(New Jersey Stereotype)___. I wanted to ___(Bodily Function)___, but it wouldn’t come out.

I walked up to the restaurant. It was right next to the ___(Street In Your Neighborhood)___, where all kinds of people did  ___(Funny Occupation)___. I was so hungry I could have eaten a ___(Extinct Animal)___ !

As I approached the entrance, I saw my ex-wife! She was with a ___(Funny Thing)___, and it looked like they had just performed ___(Pagan Tradition)___ to each other!

Of all the nights! Honestly, if I had a/an ___(Medieval Weapon)___ I would have hit them both on the ___(Body part)___ over and over and over again! I wouldn’t stop until they ended up like ___(Name of Movie Villain)___.

Instead, I decided to find the nearest ___(Famous Monument)___ and jump off it.

If you’re reading this letter, Margarette, I hope you’re ___(Sad Emotion)___. You made me feel like ___(Female Celebrity)___, and this was the last straw. I’m going to ___(Harsh Verb)___ now.

Goodbye forever,

Patrick

P.S. Will you look after my ___(Exotic Pet)___ for me when I’m gone?

18 July 2011 ·